E52: TOLWM + Sabrina Victoria x UNTIL

I've been looking forward to sharing this episode. We went live on Facebook to record it, a first for me -- and what the hell is my problem not doing it more?!? If someone is going to get me outta my 'can't' mode and into CAN, it's this woman.

Sabrina Victoria turns chaos into masterpieces. She is the founder of HER NATION GLOBAL, a multifaceted media company that now boasts a podcast, events, and a digital magazine, with the addition of Her Nation Club, offering invaluable support to women entrepreneurs.

+ Building shit means no sleeping in!
+ If I'm not talking about my struggle, what am I to talk about?!?
+ That one time when Google saved my life
+ But not before I saved myself
+ We need each other to move on already
+ Her all-senses plan for Her Nation

Find her. Get involved. This is enormous energy waiting for you! Here are a few ways to connect with Sabrina and find out where you fit in.

HerNation.life
H Club
Facebook
YouTube

If you're experiencing domestic violence of any degree and need help, here are several ways to connect with someone who knows what to do to get you started.

1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
Text START to 88788
Visit the National Domestic Violence Hotline site to chat

#domesticviolencemonth #domesticviolence #abuse #domesticabuse #mentalabuse #recovery #herstory #womensavingwomen #womenonstage #mentalhealth #entrepreneurship #femaleentrepreneur #levelup

Transcript

Natalie P.: Hello, beautiful humans live. You are here to think out loud with me. I am Natalie Peterson, casting in from my little neck of the woods in Northern Colorado, to you in yours, wherever and whenever that might be.

this little digital adventure is my way of turning years of internal chatter, wondering, silent suffering, and physical and mental close calls into enlightening and empowering conversations with others.

Sabrina, Victoria is a visionary, a strategist, and an action taker. She's the founder of her nation. Host of her talk show creator of her nation. Magazine and H. Club is a growing community of badass women. She works daily to support, connect, and inspire, to take big, bold, badass action. I'd love for you to listen to a bit of her backstory

raised in the suburbs of Chicago. Sabrina faced early challenges, including single motherhood and a toxic relationship. However, her determination to overcome obstacles led her to the world of personal development in 2,008.

Fully immersing herself in self-improvement, Sabrina began implementing her newfound knowledge, launching her 1st Youtube channel and blog pure aspirations in 2,012. That seems like so long ago.

It's not that long ago, but it seems like it. Despite facing skepticism and hardship, she embarked on a path of entrepreneurship, starting multiple online businesses and even opening her 1st airbnb. I thought that was a cool spot to be in 2018. Sabrina's passion for mentoring women and women culminated in the creation of nation of diamonds, later rebranded as her version, which evolved into the vibrant community known as her nation, which I proudly belong to

this multifaceted Media company now boasts a Podcast events, a digital magazine, and with the addition of her Nation club, offering invaluable support to women entrepreneurs.

She's certified in various disciplines, including Nlp. And life. Coaching.

Sabrina's expertise extends to helping others achieve their goals and overcome challenges. I've been a guest on her talk show. She has fantastic women there, a platform for sharing wisdom.

She's a prolific social media user and sought after Speaker for many reasons which I think you'll become fully aware of as you listen in.

Sabrina continues to inspire others with her authenticity and belief in the power of complete immersion to create the life you desire.

She's known for turning chaos into masterpieces. She's here with me today to share her beautiful brain. Sabrina Victoria, thank you for joining me. I can't wait to think out loud with you.

Sabrina Victoria: What an intro I freaking love that! Thank you so much for having me! I always enjoy sitting down with equally brilliant women to discuss all the things you know.

Natalie P.: All the things. I got some things I want to think out loud with you about some serious stuff and some still serious stuff, but a little more lighthearted. That I think a few people can connect with. But

I wanted to. Well, 1st and foremost, thanks for going. Live with me. You inspire me. I am a, as I said, a member of her nation H. Club, as it is called, and most Monday mornings over the last several months have joined in the Monday morning meeting, and really just fire up. And and you know one of the things that you talk about with all of us.

on the regular. It's it's part of your just who you are as a being is to just do it, to just lean in. And and if it's whether it's doing it badly or doing it crazy, or just like you have to start, get started right?

So going live with you made sense. I haven't done this yet. I'm a perfectionist. I want it to be just right. I want the ability to edit out the sloppiness like this rambling. And where is she going? With this? I could totally tighten this up if I go back right. But I'm not going

talk to me about just who you are as a person, and

I'd love a little more of your backstory this this drive, and you know I'm I'm thinking about you as a little girl. I'm thinking about all kinds of things like, give me a sense of where this where Sabrina came from, and like this pace that you maintain.

Sabrina Victoria: Yeah, absolutely.

I wanna say, a lot of it is just bread in me. I'm you know, got Hispanic background. We're known to be just workhorses. There wasn't a lot of downtime in my childhood. We were always

my dad was very active, so very like building shit. We just always had. My mom always said she's never had like a really done up house, because there's always been a part of the house that was just under construction, like there's always construction going on in our house. And we were always involved with that. Whether it was outside or inside, we never really sat down like as a family like on a Saturday. Let's just like sit down and watch TV and eat marshmallows like that's just not a thing.

I was raised as a Jehovah's witness. So Jehovah's witnesses are known for lots of church, lots of going door to door, lots of just, you know, pioneering and going out and saving the world. So between that

and then just working around the house and chores and all of that, there just wasn't a lot of downtime. And I think that just kind of seeped into my real life. I don't understand napping. I don't understand self care. I don't understand like taking it easy and relaxing. I'm not going to say I don't do those things, but there's like a limited amount of time of which I am capable of doing that until I'm just like

I literally just can't do it like like sleeping in. I don't know how people do that like my, I wake up, and then my mind just going a million miles an hour, and I'll try. I'll try. I'll be like, let me just like I don't know. People say they just like relax, or they fall back asleep, or and I'll try, and it just doesn't work for me. I don't know

but you know my story. depending on how you look at it could be dark. I'm at a point in my life now where I'm very grateful

for every single challenge, struggle, trial, trial. a tribulation that I've ever been through.

I realize now how much my story has impacted who I am today, and the desire to build and to create is so inbred in me on multiple levels that it's impossible for me to slow down or stop.

Natalie P.: you something that resonates with me, that you just said is at a place in your life where you're grateful for challenges, and I think that's a place like while we know that the journey of heal, like our our entire life's journey, whether it's on this plane or the next one or the previous one is, it's not linear, but I do feel like there is a destination where we get to, where we turn around, and we say I don't.

I honestly don't think I wish it went differently.

Yeah, it's a crazy place to get to, because if I think about those things that I'm referring to. They sucked.

Sabrina Victoria: Yeah.

Natalie P.: Like big time.

And in the middle of it was I. I remember, some of those like, just

Are you kidding me?

And today, to get to a place to turn around and be like, thank you. is like a really big deal.

I wouldn't change the losses. I wouldn't change the pain.

I wouldn't be sitting here with you if I did. Yeah.

this means now, you know, in in right now matters, and I and this is the most beautiful instant that I could have ever imagined.

Sabrina Victoria: Yeah, I agree. I still remember the era of which I had to let go of my victimhood. It was a big deal for me to sit down and be like like I. It was almost like a like a vision of I had to make a choice like my vision, for who I was, as a powerful female was becoming so clear

I could see it like at the cusp. I could see the vision and the light. but my identity was so connected to my story, my victimhood, my woe is me! My excuses for my lack of success, like what I feel is, was successful for me at that point, and there was a jumping off

where I literally had to jump from victimhood cliff to powerful cliff.

And it was there wasn't a bridge. It wasn't a bridge of like you could go back. It was I had to frickin jump, and I had to go all in.

Unlike, I am the most powerful, brilliant, beautiful human being on the face of the planet, and I am capable of great things, and that was so scary from such a dark. like uncertain, unstable place to be. But this is the the decision that people have to make, and they don't right. They stay in the story like the 1st thing. And this was me, too, the 1st thing. When you meet somebody they just vomit their whole story all over you. They're just like

this is all the shit that's happened to me, and this is why I am the way I am. This is why I live in the house I live. This is why I drive the car that I live. This is why I look the way I live. This is why I don't have any money in my account. This is why my relationships suck like.

and then and we lean on that so heavily so that we can stay complacent so that we can stay small so that we can have excuses as to why we're not fill in the blank. And I remember how scared I was to go all in on this new identity that I was creating, that I had never been before.

And I'm like, how am I going to do this? What is this going to look like. Is anyone going to believe me? Do I believe me.

Natalie P.: Hmm.

Sabrina Victoria: And I'm telling you the number one thing that worked for me. and which is why I'm so addicted to sharing my story on podcasts like yours, and why my heart goes out to women like you, who allow us to share our story is because I was committed

to listening consistently to other people's stories in order to give myself something to lean on the possibility. If she could do it, I can do it. If he could do it. I could do it because I didn't have the confidence in myself yet.

So I had to use. And this is one of the things I talk about in her nation all the time you have to leverage other people's. Anything could be their story. It could be their connections, it could be their network. It could be their community. In this case it was their story. I had to leverage other people's stories, and I had to believe that I am just as capable as that person is to get to where I want to get to, because they did it, too.

And every single day, girl, I'm not even kidding. I had my headphones in every single day I was working out listening to people tell me every anything is possible cleaning the freaking kitchen I was sweeping. I was cleaning the toilets I was driving in my car anywhere where you could silence you could be listening to TV, or you could be listening to music. I was listening to people telling me that I could.

Yes, I can. Anything is possible. and that bat on its own. Obviously I had to take a lot of action, right? I had to do things, not just listening. You have to take the action.

But it was those people's stories that saved me.

Natalie P.: there's this concept that if I'm not my struggles, who am, I.

Sabrina Victoria: Yes. that is exactly where I was. and I had that conversation I was like, if I can't talk about the ridiculous abuse that I've been through in my life. What the fuck do I talk about

like?

And that is the issue is, you have to then decide to create other stories right? So I went from darkness, and and woe is me to like a vision of greatness, and I had to switch my words. I had to switch my story. I had to switch my vision, and I had to start talking about whatever it was that I was seeking.

and what I found was how inspired people would get by that. And then that is what filled me up versus getting filled up by like, oh, my gosh, Sabrina, I'm so sorry that happened to you, and then that would fill me up like, oh, you're such a warrior, Sabrina, like you did such a good job getting out of that I'm so proud of you, and then that would fill me up right. But it's like that got tiring for me. I'm like dude. Every fucking day

got a good break. We relive this shit. I gotta cry. I gotta. It just comes up. And then and then I'm weird. All day. I'm wonky like all day, because I'm just like reliving just this grossness all day long.

And yeah, I had to take. I always say you gotta bet on yourself.

That's what I had to do. I had to literally be like you know what

I'm capable, and I had to believe that and go all in.

Natalie P.: it's like.

Sabrina Victoria: Anybody can do this.

That's the key. Anybody.

Natalie P.: Can do.

Sabrina Victoria: What I'm doing.

And lots of people do.

Yeah.

Natalie P.: It's like you get to this. So. my, if if my story, my story has and most people's story has tent poles right these and and we create this.
 this. this what do I want to call it like this draping or like? If I'm in the circus of my life, right. I'm all about metaphors.

Who taught me that?

So these tent poles of these high points of my of my suffering, I'll say. And I have this story that drapes along, and for me I am a storyteller. I always have been, and I knew I dabbled in this concept of of helping other people through my story, but it was more about what you're talking about, their reaction filling me up than it was about what I was doing to overcome my story. And so it got to a point where I was. And this was just in the last 6 months that I realized I am so sick of my story 1st of all, sick of it.

Not that I want to change it back to what we were talking about. I don't want to change it. But I'm sick of the same shit that I'm talking about over and over, and the and and I know the reaction I'm gonna get. And then I have a reaction to that. And it's like, what is the point of all this? There's this middle part, this in between the lines

that requires me to get ridiculously honest with myself and the person that I'm sitting across from to say I'm it's it's calling for me. It's calling bullshit on myself and being like.

okay? And what's your point?

Sabrina Victoria: So.

Natalie P.: Right. And so this part it's it is almost this existential spot in between that is really it's gray. It's fuzzy. But, man, if I can drop in and start to get honest. And and if I can find someone who brings it out in me that is, in a similar place, or or is in a is is trained to help me get in between those lines. The rewards of what the point is

are fucking like, mind boggling. Yeah, right?

Sabrina Victoria: Hold on!

Natalie P.: You talk about a leap. and you talk about this moment of like being like quite literally your if I can put, I'm going to put words in your mouth. I'm gonna get right there with you like I'm sitting in a place. And I actually turn. And I look at myself. And I say I'm done with that.

This is who I am now, and the mindset that has to come along with with that.

Can you actually put a timestamp on that. Do you know when that happened? Can you.

Sabrina Victoria: I was still with my abuser.

Natalie P.: Yeah, so tell me about tell like, put me there.

Sabrina Victoria: Yeah, I so my back story is, I was raised as a Jehovah's witness. I got pregnant at the age of 20 I wasn't married. and because of that religion and not being married and being pregnant, it's a sin. And so I was cast out. I lost my entire community. I lost my mom, my dad, my sister, my brother, and every friend I had ever known my whole life, and I just got thrown to the woods

thrown to the wolves, and I led the stereotypical single mom broke ass life of literally no money, 0 money like digging in my couch cushions for 25 cents to put gas in my car, to barely be able to make it to my child's daycare to barely be able to get to work, to hopefully find another quarter on the ground somewhere, or stuck in the vending machine like I used to check the telephones and the vending machines for loose change so I could put gas in my car so I could get back home after work like it was so bad. And I'm negative. $72 in my bank account on top of that

right? So my self-worth is down. I'm a sinner. I'm dark, I'm dirty, I'm gross, nobody wants me, nobody likes me. God hates me right. and because of that mindset I was in, I got swooped up by a man who looked like he was going to save me

he was on a white horse. He had money I've been praying for to God, for, like please help me. I'm drowning financially. He had money. so I thought he was given to me. By God, I thought he was a gift from God.

and so I ignored all the red flags in girl like people always ask me this like, when did you know, girl, I knew on the 1st date that this man was not a good man.

but I ignored all of it, because I was so desperate I was so hungry for attention. I was so just eager to just get anyone to give me praise that I was a good girl.

that I was a good person.

and he did that. And so basically finance. It was a mix of financial abuse and mental, emotional and sexual abuse. So as he gained more control financially of me.

the mental, emotional, and sexual abuse got worse. So it wasn't like right off the bat. I'm just like getting raped. It was like a gradual thing. So like, you know. 1st he's like move in with me

right? So now he owns my house, but he's giving it to me as a gift like. Oh, you can't afford. Just move in with me. Just take care of the house right? So now I have no house right then. Later on he's like, why don't you just work for me? Your job sucks. It's not paying you anything. So now he controls all of my money

right then, later on. It's like I can't pay my bills because he's barely paying me any money. He's paying me 2 50 a week to work 1416 h shifts.

I can't afford my phone. So instead of giving me more money, he's like, don't worry about your phone. Put your phone under my phone a gift.

Now, I have no phone.

Couldn't make my car payment. Don't worry about your car. Let's get rid of your car.

Use one of my cars now. I have no car.

Right? So within a year's time I look around and I'm like, Oh, my God.

I have nothing. I have my son and all my clothes. He controls everything. I get a little, a little snippety.

no keys to my car.

I get a little snippety.

No allowance this week.

He controls everything.

and I'm completely isolated because I have no communication with my parents. I have no communication with my friends. And

so anyways, yeah, I wind up with this man who's causing me just so much strife, mental, emotional, sexual, financial abuse. It was absolutely awful, and 8 years in is when my shift happened. 8 years of being told

I was the worst person on the planet. right? Ghetto trash, single, mom uneducated. No one wants you, not even your parents want you. No wonder you got disowned.

and then every swear word and every word that you could possibly call a woman to make her feel insignificant on a daily basis. and 8 years in. I'm on the floor in the bathroom. I'll never, ever forget this day

I was in the fetal position, and I was crying my eyes out to the point of like screaming.

I don't know if you've ever been at that point before, but I'm like screaming and bawling at the same time, because, like crying wasn't enough. I was like dying inside in the fetal position on my bathroom floor just like crying out for anybody to help.

And I always say Google saved my life

because in the dark right tears. Snot I can't even fucking. See? I pull out my phone. And I did one Google search that saved my life.

I Googled.

why is my boyfriend bullying me?

Because I didn't know any other vernacular other than the word bully. I didn't know about narcissism. I didn't know about empathy. I didn't know about codependency.

I didn't know about psychopaths.

I said, bullying. He was just so mean to me every single day.

And I literally skimmed. Google clicked on a couple things for maybe a minute.

maybe a minute.

I sat up and I realized 2 things.

one. my partner, was totally fucked up.

2. I am totally fucked up.

Narcissism, empathy, codependency, financial distress totally naive to the world and what is going on. And in that moment that wasn't the pivoting moment from jumping the cliff. But in that moment I knew

I had to start making some huge changes in my life, and I had to figure out how to get my power back, and literally within a few months I opened up a secret bank account. I started 3 online secret businesses, and it took me 4 years to collect 50 grand and leave a year before I left

is when I took that leap.

I had about $40,000 in my account. I knew at any given time. If if I was getting a little snippety, and for some reason he was like, Get the fuck out of my house. I could just leave because I was safe.

And I took that year in with 2 things, one working on my power, working on myself, a hundred percent, a hundred percent, one number 2. Everything that was being done to me, and said to me because I had to play 2 roles.

I still had to play the submissive. like sad, dark individual. I had to play the role for him. But I was so educated at that point on what narcissism looked like and what a narcissist looked like. And I'm not saying he's a narcissist, right? We're not supposed to diagnose people.

so I want to put that out there. But I was so in tune with what he needed me to be, that I was playing the role so perfectly for him that it fooled it fooled him so good like. I'm still so proud of myself for that acting, so I had to number one. Still be that person, and then number 2, work on myself at the same time

to eventually leave him. But yeah, I was still with him when I made that leap, but there was no fear, because I was set. I was like ready to go. I was on fire. I was reading all the things I was doing, all the things I was saving my money. I was building my businesses. I was

getting myself set up, you know I created a plan

and, girl.

I look back sometimes, and I'm like dude. It was flawless. My plan to leave.

It was so gorgeous the amount of time and effort I put into planning that whole escape to leave. and so proud of myself for doing it.

you know it was so scary because he was telling me the whole time. If you ever leave within 6 months, you're going to end up behind a dumpster living in a cardboard box with your kid. You're never going to make it.

You're never going to make more than $31,000 a year told me that all the time such an obscure number 2, 31,000.

Yeah, 1st thing I did when I left

1st thing I did when I left is

When I left I had 50 grand when I left, but I paid for my place in full. I paid for my car in full. So my money went down really fast. So the 1st thing that I did like Gung Ho is to save $31,000 like that was my number. I'm like I'm fucking

$31,000. My ass.

Natalie P.: Right.

Sabrina Victoria: And I saved in my savings account $31,000 within that 1st year as a savings, while I'm.

Natalie P.: Still.

Sabrina Victoria: Paying for my bills and everything but.

Natalie P.: Wow!

Sabrina Victoria: So you can do it at any time, anywhere. But you have to make a decision you have to fully commit to it. And I did.

I did a hundred percent. I did. It took me a second. It wasn't just like, Oh, I'm going to commit and just jump. Probably took me a few months. I knew it, I saw it.

I contemplated, I cried about it.

Natalie P.: We want so desperately for it to click and just happen. And I think, wouldn't you say that the the place the slippery place, is not is is the the doubt that doubt is what starts to fog everything up like. and it and it applies to every everything right? It's like it's not worth it. I can't stick with it. It's I'm not strong enough that there's

this  this place of, and once we hit the slope of doubt, it's really hard to just keep coming back up to say No, I'm worth it. I can do this. I know there's another side to this to believe that there's another side to this, and that I deserve more than what I'm more than where I am right now. I deserve it.

Sabrina Victoria: Absolutely.

Yeah. A lot of you know a part of my story that I don't normally tell or get a chance to tell is, you know, I make it sound like it was so easy, like, yeah, 4 years. I saved 50 grand. And then I just ran away, and everything was fine, but the part that I leave out often is that it wasn't just like saving 50 grand. I lost my money twice.

so at 1 point I had saved $13,000. I'm looking at my bank account. Very short story, you know. It's obviously very long story, but short story. He comes up behind me.

and in my head I was like ego. I wanted to show him that I had made money, because the whole time I'm like running his businesses. I'm working so many hours. We like built multiple offices in multiple states. We're making millions of dollars with me by his side. We were. He was not doing that when I met him, and but he was always telling me you're stupid. You're dumb. The only reason we're successful is because we had something to start and stop. You know he always made sure to like

put me down that, like the success had nothing to do with me, and he could have done this with anybody. And so when I had this little bit of money, I wanted to show him I want to be like, Look, I can do stuff.

Look! I can show. But I knew I couldn't right, but I kept it open, for, like a little like 2 milliseconds too long. He came up behind me, saw it

fucking, took my computer, threw it against the wall. He didn't break it, but like threw it and cut me off all my money he cut off for 6 months.

6 months he didn't pay me, so I had to work all my same hours. But he's, you know, cunt whore slut. Ungrateful, dumb ass! How dare you that I was cheating? That I was skimming, that I was stealing like all this stuff, right.

and I had to make a decision that because I sort of had to, I had to use my own money right? I wasn't able to save anymore. So I'm still working right. But now I'm even down, or I'm even like dark, or I'm even like I was so heavy it was awkward, it was weird. It was uncomfortable, like maybe I should just give up. Maybe I should just stay. But I got right back on again right. 6 months later he starts paying me again, and I'm still working my business to grow. 2 years after that.

Have a call with my son's father, hey? I'm going to be leaving soon. I'm stepping into my power. I'm getting out of this. Hello! He's like, Oh, cool, awesome, so proud of you. I'm like, yeah, just so, you know, I'm like super scared. I've been with this guy for over a decade like I'm nervous, so I'm just like I'm like he wasn't paying child support. Still.

my son's father still wasn't paying me child support 0.

So like. So I just needed to like give them a little heads up like, Hey, you know, I might to come to you. He's like, yeah, girl girl power blah blah

month or so after that he calls me. He's like, Hey, I want to take Elijah on a camping trip. It was summertime. I'm like, yeah, cool. Take them on a camping trip.

Long story short again. He freaking stole him. Yeah, we just took them took him on a camping trip, never gave him back.

so he's supposed to come back a week later, never fucking came back, so I had to get a lawyer. I had to do emergency hearings. There's all this stuff, long story short, a whole year of litigations of him trying to take him full time he had never been in his life before. Wasn't paying child support $18,000,

lost all my money again. so all that money that I'd saved up where I'm like, hey, I'm out of here. Blah blah blah blah

all gone from the litigation, and I still remember sitting in my car after getting the little like 18 page. This is the rules of which to follow for child support Handy, my freaking lawyer, 18,000, the last $3,000, or the $18,000. I'm sitting in my car, and I have a freaking

sheets of like the anyone who's been through child custody. You get like a thing with all the rules, and I'm flipping through it, and I'm bawling my eyes out like I'm in a movie.

bawling my eyes out, screaming, hitting my freaking steel, steering wheel all dramatically. And I'm sitting here, and I'm like dude.

The universe fucking hates me.

Natalie P.: Alright!

Sabrina Victoria: I am destined

to stay in the situation that I am in.

There's no way I'm trying so hard. I'm doing all the things that the gurus are telling me to do every day. I'm showing up early. I'm with a good attitude. I'm optimistic. I'm being the best mother wife I'm working out. I'm showing up. I'm freaking with a good attitude. I'm working hard. I'm taking care of the house. I'm taking care of the business.

and I have my side hustle just like the gurus are telling me, and the universe is shitting on me every single fucking time. I think that I have a footing

what the fuck

and I'm sitting in my car and I had to make a decision. Am I gonna do this again?

The audacity to think that I can do this again, or am I going to settle

in the situation that I'm in? And I think to myself, and I'm like there are women that live in abusive relationships. They live like that. and they're fully taken care of.

I can do that. I can turn all my emotions off, and I can be a robot for this man.

and and this could be my life.

or

I can try to fucking. Do it again.

And, girl.

I went full fucking blast.

No holds bar

plus. I was getting child support.

And I'm just like, fuck this shit. I'm going to keep trying to get the F out of this relationship until

until and that is the word that has stuck with me my whole life. Up to that point

you have to do it until

so many times we have dreams and we have desires, and we have visions that we want to do, and then we get a little tired. We get a little stuck. The universe is shitting on us. There's challenges, there's struggles

you have to keep going until.

and that's what I committed to do.

And if I wouldn't have, girl.

None of this would exist.

The life that I possess now never would have existed.

And that's what people are missing. That's what people are not seen not getting, not receiving.

because they give up. they throw in the towel. I'm telling you. If you have a desire.

do you have to go until.

Natalie P.: and you know what I love knowing is that Elijah watched all of this.

Sabrina Victoria: Absolutely.

Natalie P.: We watched his mom. That's big potato stuff.

Sabrina Victoria: It's a beautiful story, you know.

It's a beautiful story of triumph, and I feel so blessed, and I feel so much gratitude to be able to share it.

you know. That's that's a story that has been given to me. you know, and I feel so much gratitude to have been able to lived it

despite me, not appreciating it at the time. And how many people I am now able to inspire because of it.

And I look back now, and it's like dude, as hard as it was, and as much as I hated every single second of it. There's so much goodness

there's so much goodness. Now. coming out of that story.

Natalie P.: Yeah.

Sabrina Victoria: And that's what people don't understand. It's like

dude you can teach. You can influence so many individuals if you just flipped your mindset just a little bit.

Natalie P.: Little bit. Yeah, it's not. It's.

Sabrina Victoria: It's still the same story, right? I'm telling the same story, but the mindset of which I am deciding to share it now is it is a site of inspiration versus a side of victimhood, and woe is me

right! We don't lose the story. but we're now able to use the story to save others.

Natalie P.: Lo and behold, it is domestic violence, awareness, month.

October. And though you and I didn't plan this conversation around that, I can't help but be grateful that it happened like it did.

and I can't help but hope that you know, going live today. Everything that lines up beautifully the story. It took years and years and years and years for us to get to this point in in the story. And and now our shared story that that day that you and I jumped on and decided to think out loud together.

that everything that we're doing is if we choose. No, everything that we're doing does have ripples, and what those ripples mean, especially if we put intention into them.

A lot of folks that know me, and I've probably shared the same concept with you. that we are in a place of needing one another.

Human beings are designed to connect. Human beings are are by their very nature dependent. Dependency is not a bad thing.

We we wouldn't have been able to survive out of the womb if we weren't dependent right and had someone care for us.

and in my own journey, having had, even when I didn't even realize that that's what I was doing, having my hand out, and beautiful human beings of every on the array of this scale of of

backgrounds and and orientations that their hand grabbed mine, and they fed into me, and they poured into me. They poured into me from a place that was I didn't know what that it was what I needed, but it it poured into me and my hand held on, and to finally get to a place.

And today I feel it even more than I ever have of being able to turn and extend my own hand and grab somebody else's and say, I got you. I don't have to be in the same space that you were. I don't, I can't even I cannot. Fucking fathom.

I can grow. I can lay down, though. on that floor with you.

and just reassure you that.

and and believe with you that you're gonna make it.

And you're beautiful.

My God, you're beautiful!

I just. I'm feeling really grateful for you. Thank you for sharing with me all of that, and pouring into me with what you do. yeah.

Sabrina Victoria: Go along with what you're saying regarding being there. this is why my desire to build community is so strong

because I really see and understand the strength in that we both did. I mean we immediately were overcome with emotion the moment that you said that, like that is what was taken away from me at a time when I was so vulnerable. so scared the worst time.

And now, looking back and realizing community is the most important thing as a human around anything could be. Skydiving could be. Fashion could be. Hair could be divorce losing a child cancer business

right? But we have to belong to community in some aspect or another, in the areas of which we are trying to evolve and succeed and find warmth and goodness. so that we can continue to grow. So we have to make room for the people coming up. If we all just stay where we're at. I always

the analogy I use is like high school. you know. Like, if if you just like, we went all the way through. And then, just like senior year, we're just all like we're just gonna stay, seniors.

You can't fucking. Do that. There's not enough room in the school.

You have to leave the school, and you have to go do other things. It's the same thing with where you are in your life, in your job, in your career, in your relationships, in your business, in your money, in your bank account, in your health

we have to continue to move and evolve and teach, to make room for the people coming up behind us. We all can't stay baggers at the local grocery store pushing carts.

You have to evolve into a cashier, and then the freaking produce manager, and then the manager, and then you have to move to another store, so that the people coming up behind you can then be baggers and cart getters and freaking facers and the the cashiers. And it's an evolution. But what happens is, some of us stay.

We like stay in the area of which. And this is when I talk a lot about, even in entrepreneurship with, like the scared of the scarcity, and like evolving or moving or changing girl you're supposed to.

You're supposed to continue to evolve and add and adapt and change. Change the name of your company, change what you do, and continue because we're consistently learning. Our story is big and bigger and more in depth.

And we have to take what we're learning, the education that we've gotten, the experience that we've gotten. We've got to continue to evolve to teach others this way. The people coming up behind us can then take the spot where we were.

See so many of us aren't doing that. We're just staying in the same. It's okay to evolve and change. Yes, it's super scary. Yes, it's super like, what is everyone going to say, yeah, all of that. But why are people saying that people are saying that? Because that's what everybody's doing? And that's what you're not supposed to do if we made it more if we made it more.

Whatever the word is, you know what I'm talking about, like where everyone's doing it. It wouldn't be so weird.

it wouldn't be so weird. And that's 1 of the things that I am fully dedicated to, and why I talk so openly about the transitions I'm making in my business, and the things that I'm doing in my business to evolve as not only personally, but also business wise so that women can see. Oh, look! We don't have to stay as pureaspirations.net. We don't have to stay at her version. We don't have to stay at just her nation. Global. We can turn it into a community, a club we can teach. We doesn't have to be just a mastermind. It could be networking. It could be business growth. It could be sales growth. Right? We can add a circle community. There's a we could add it. We just added a digital magazine this year. The audacity of me to think that I can open up a digital magazine like, who am I?

You can do anything you freaking want to do? You have to go all in. You have to commit. You have to work hard. But what else are we doing like? What are you doing

right? What am I doing?

Our minds? Our creativity is endless.

Natalie P.: I have to break rules. I have to break my grandpa's rules and and rules of of the norm that like Natalie, the rule follower is going to like. Oh, she's gonna break some rules, you know. And and yeah, that's that leap. That leap is beautiful and scary and and fuck if it's not worth it.

Yeah.

I I want to give you a few beats to talk about her nation. It's been a blessing to me to find the community. and H. Club and I've made such just remarkable connections to different people. All walks to the women that are a part of of the club. we just you just I I say we because I was there with you the the magazine and and just witnessing you take next level steps. With all of it.

What's next for H. Club. What's next for her nation? Tell me what you're working on, and then let's mention where people can find you. I'm going to put notes, of course, with this I've been recording this the whole time, and it'll be an episode. But yeah, what are you? What are you working on next level for? Her nation?

Sabrina Victoria: Hmm, yes. So right now, her nation global is virtual, predominantly virtual. We've only hosted a handful of in person events. 2023, 2024, heading into 2025 or the over the next 2 or 3 years. Really going all in on in person.

What the capacity of that looks like, I'm not sure but the long term vision for her nation global is ultimately large stages with tens of thousands of people in the audience, and even though yes, her nation. The audience is all humans. So the idea is her H club being the backbone, the speakers to a platform that is, for all humans.

So. You know, so often when we go to these events, when we go to these seminars, they're predominantly men.

Natalie P.: Hmm.

Sabrina Victoria: Nothing wrong with that. They're predominantly men. few women sprinkled in. And I want to change that. You know, I want to change that where it's predominantly running rooms that are for all humans.

and the majority of speakers are all brilliant. well educated. well lived women with a few men sprinkled in, and not because this is a men. That's not what this is.

It's just why not? Why not we, that we've been doing it the other way the whole time. There's no question we sprinkle in a few women, no issue.

Well, why not have it the opposite way in a different arena?

Right?

So that's the vision, for the vision is to get us on stages to get us speaking, our expertise standing in our authority, standing in our power, sharing our story, sharing our brilliance, to be able to change the lives of others, to be able to break cycles, to be able to use our stories to inspire. I'm going to close with this one day. I'm gonna find this. I do not know where it is right now.

but on several occasions when I was with my abuser, I would Google.

And I said I was always listening stuff. I would Google, inspirational speakers. motivational speakers and Google, right? This was a while ago

decades to over a decade ago Google would give me a hundred white men before they would give me a woman or an African American.

And I remember thinking to myself. I want to relate to a woman with like kids.

but I always say I was actually saved by white old men. I was not saved by women, and I feel like that's unfortunate. You know. I was listening to Tony Robbins, Les Brown, who's not white, but he's old and a man

Joel Osteen

Jim Rohn.

right. All these white men telling me anything is possible.

I am capable. I can do anything, make a plan. and I did all the things that they told me to do, and I am where I am because of them, and

I think it's very hard for women to relate when you are a single mom, broke in the Ghetto. in an abusive relationship. Right? Whatever your story is, wherever you're at negative $72 in your bank account. It's really hard to relate to Tony Robbins way the Frick up here like, how am I supposed to go from here to here that makes no sense.

Right? So my vision is, how can we get women on stage to share their stories, to sprinkle in in between here and Tony Robbins so that they can use the stepping stones to climb up to where Tony Robbins is right. We need some bridges to close the gap between this and this and that's what I really want her nation to be is those bridges.

because we still have the ability to be able to get to that vision of whatever we believe Tony Robbins is if we wanted to right, that could be in health wealth that could be in relationships right? There's a lot of areas of which he teaches in that he's good at right?

we're not all desiring to be all the things to all right. I understand that. But also we all have the potential to be something other than where we are right now. A lot of us are sitting in complacency. So where that is in the bridges is up to that person. But we should all be jumping bridges. And so yeah, that's the

That's the ultimate vision, and I think about it every single day.

Every single day I envision 1520 women on stage, shoulder to shoulder. smiling, so big. sexy, gorgeous, brilliant. filled with tears of excitement.

Look at this with an audience applauding. grateful.

I think, of the colors. I think of the smell. I think, of the lighting.

I think of the intro.

It's real.

Natalie P.: Yeah, it is.

Sabrina Victoria: And

I'm patient.

I'm very patient. I'm very methodical.

and I'm working the steps to get there fully dedicated. I'm counting on my women to continue to evolve with me.

and I'm fully dedicated and committed to continue to grow this platform with us, so that by the time you right and everyone else is moving along in their business, and they're growing, and her nation is growing right along with it'll be perfect timing for every single one of us to get onto that stage. And we're gonna look around and we're gonna be like, do you remember? When

o you remember when? And it's going to be gorgeous.

I'm so excited.

Natalie P.: and 2 I'm in. I'm totally in.

Get it! Get it! Get it! Get it! I love it! I love the I love the vision. I love the colors and the the the absolute, just being in a space of of energetic support, and just next level.

Looking around and saying this. Yep, we saw this, and I remember when. And yeah. I would love absolutely love to turn and look at you and say nothing, say nothing. And just know. Yeah. I remember when.

Yeah. thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thanks for being here.

Sabrina Victoria: Thank you.

Natalie P.: Thank you for being you.

Sabrina Victoria: Hmm.

Natalie P.: I am going to, as I say, land this plane by thanking everybody who's listening in for going live with me today. On a whim and thinking out loud with me. And today's guest, Sabrina Victoria.

There'll be lots of show notes with links and including some domestic violence. Awareness, month, information. time is our most valuable asset. I know I'm visiting today with someone who absolutely lives, that. What are you doing with your time? The fact that you have chosen to spend it listening into this.

whether it's live or it's 10 months from now. That's an honor to me, and that's why I do this, and until we visit again, you and and everybody

go live with love and with intention for the good in the world. And please, please, whatever you do, don't let anybody fuck with your flow.

Big hugs, big love.

Bye, friends.