E46: TOLWM + Claire Thomas x Women as Unstoppable Forces of Nature

Many women feel obliged to wear many hats: partner, mother, daughter, sister, friend, colleague, the list goes on. Claire gets it. You want to be all the things, to all the people. You say ‘yes’ because it’s expected, and don’t complain because, well, on paper, your life ‘should’ be good. But you’re sacrificing what you really want out of life. And it hurts.

🌝 Super Full Blue Moon WOW's
🔎 Curious Claire, the Common Denominator
🫣 Arriving at Awareness, Gratitude, Empathy
✏️ Agreements That Disagree With Our Values
🏖️ Lessons From a Holiday of Non-Striving
➕ Positive Intelligence for the W

One of the few certified coaches in the U.K., Claire offers mental fitness coaching for people-pleasing women who know they are capable of so much more. She's wise and warm, and she believes when we put aside the limiting beliefs life has given us, we learn to step into the best version of ourselves and believe it, too. Claire’s goal is to inspire as many women around the world as possible to unlock their true potential. She knows we each can become unstoppable forces of nature. 

Buy Claire's coaching cards at https://reachingmybest.com/product/shine-your-light-cards/

🌐 www.reachingmybest.com
🌲 https://linktr.ee/reachingmybest
🔗 https://www.linkedin.com/in/clairethomasmindsetmindfulnesscoach/
🔗 https://www.instagram.com/reachingmybest/

Transcript

Natalie P.: 0:06

Hello, Hello, beautiful humans! You are here to think out loud with me. I am Natalie Peterson, casting in from my little neck of the woods in northern Colorado to you in yours, wherever and whenever that might be. This digital adventure is my solution of turning years of internal chatter, wondering, silent suffering and physical and mental close calls into enlightening and empowering conversations with others. Claire Thomas, founder of reaching my best. is one of the few certified mental fitness coaches in the UK. Her passion and focus is on guiding and empowering women to unlock their full potential as well as overcome any obstacles they may be facing personally or professionally. our mission is not just to guide individuals to success, but to empower them, to lead fulfilling purpose, driven lives as a mental fitness. Coach Claire recognizes the pivotal role that mental well-being plays in achieving lasting and sustainable a success through her expertise in mindfulness practices. She equips her clients with tools to navigate challenges with resilience, clarity, and a centered focus. She has a professional background spanning over 25 years in the telecom sector, tech digital startups and interior design. Claire is able to offer a unique perspective and adapt to any environment with reaching my best. Claire has helped to transform women's lives. Her goal is to inspire as many women around the world as possible to unlock their true potential. She's based in Kent and Claire lives with her husband and 2 daughters who were her inspiration behind, reaching my best. It's 2 Pm. Where you are, just an outside an hour outside of London. The sun just rose over here in the eastern plains, over the the eastern plains of Colorado. Thank you for joining me, Claire, on this beautiful day, no matter what time it is, and I am just thrilled to be thinking out loud with you.

Claire Thomas: 2:17

Thank you so much for having me, and I'm thrilled to be here, and yes, the sun is shining here, too, and it was beautiful when it was my time in your time, if that makes any sense this morning, and I had a lovely dog walk in the sunshine so good over here.

Natalie P.: 2:36

Before we jumped on. We were just kind of teasing, but and I and I wanted to just wait until we hit record talking about this dang full moon and what it's done in our lives I don't know. It's not been until well, I should say I've always joked about full moon and retrograde. And you know, kind of the the thinking around with, you know, with with things that are happening in in the solar system and the cosmos, and I've never really tuned in until the last few years into truly what the paths of the moon and and the planets and the stars are are what they're doing out there. I would love to know how this moon has affected you, and just some perspective on on your own experience with with the planets and and the space.

Claire Thomas: 3:33

Yeah.

Natalie P.: 3:34

1st we live in.

Claire Thomas: 3:35

Yeah, I mean, I think my, it sounds like my journey is pretty similar to yours. I've I I think I've always had this sense that the moon is doing something to me. and that maybe I go a little bit crazy around Full moon. But I don't have any any formal training in it, just this curiosity about it that makes me just stop and wonder. And over the last few years I have been, I've been tracking it more closely with with things like how I how I feel, and how I can be, and how I can, how I do around the moon, that whether it's full or or new. But this one wow! I think I lost track of the fact that it was going to be a big one and last week I couldn't work out why, it felt like I'd had this massive slap around the face, and just this huge exhaustion that I was feeling, and it really forced me to stop doing everything. And really, just okay. just re stop and reassess. Just be trust, lean into that just explore things. And then I found out that it was the moon full moon, and it was a super blue moon. and then in the Uk it was colored red. Because of all this sand that's being or fire suffer from fires. That's been maybe coming over from the Us. So like massive, incredible photos of it. And I'm like, okay, that explains it all that explains all of this. So I I think it was really an extra big light that was shining on. Okay. So what really is going on in your life at the moment? And which direction are you gonna go in? And what are you gonna let go of. So you can do that. And that's really how I felt.

Natalie P.: 5:26

That's a cool way to think of it. That it is. It's like the universe is holding a massive flashlight, and if each one of us were just to peel away everybody else and everything around us. You know we're illuminated, and what we have in front of us is what we have in front of us, and a big massive light on it. It's incredible to me to think that we can go to each their own right, but that we can go through life not having any idea that there could be something so formidable having an effect on that. The energy with which we live, the way that we approach our day, the overwhelm that we may feel. and to finally get to a place like you're saying with just some awareness to stop and say. Okay. whether it's metaphorical or regardless.

Claire Thomas: 6:34

Yeah.

Natalie P.: 6:35

It's a relationship, right? That it it helps us understand and tap into our own, knowing that.

Claire Thomas: 6:44

Yeah.

Natalie P.: 6:44

I need to just stop for a second. I need to pause and.

Claire Thomas: 6:48

Yeah.

Natalie P.: 6:49

Take some inventory. And that's yeah. That's an incredible, an incredible place to to develop. Just a sense of space and relationship with the moon, whether it's massive, and I mean it is. Last night, driving home, I was like holy shit. That thing is.

Claire Thomas: 7:09

Yeah.

Natalie P.: 7:09

Like we could reach out and touch that thing.

Claire Thomas: 7:11

Yeah, yeah.

Natalie P.: 7:13

Amazing.

Claire Thomas: 7:14

Yeah.

Natalie P.: 7:15

So full moons. wonderful opportunities to reset, recharge, cleanse. set intentions. They talk about they being, you know, whoever they are, out there, but the collective talking about moon full moons being a a wonderful opportunity to forgive.

Claire Thomas: 7:44

Yeah.

Natalie P.: 7:45

To release. The weight of any relationships that are binding us down, and that could be to a person it could be to.

Claire Thomas: 7:56

Yeah, totally. A work thing or.

Natalie P.: 7:58

Whatever the case might be. I love the concept that this is the sturgeon moon.

Claire Thomas: 8:05

Yeah.

Natalie P.: 8:05

And the the stories behind the the giant sturgeon fish in the Great Lakes region, and that this was for indigenous folks. This was a crucial time in fishing and catching and storing, and this time of summer being a time to start. We're kind of in that. The heat of the summer, looking at what's to come right in the winter, and starting to to think about what we need to do to prepare. So before we dive into much else I would love to just get a little more backdrop on your personal story. I would love to know more about we visited before. But I, just for the sake of my listeners. Some context to who you are as a person, and you know, sitting on the other the side of the world. This giant planet

Claire Thomas: 9:14

Yeah.

Natalie P.: 9:15

Just who Claire is, and and kind of your your personal journey to this point.

Claire Thomas: 9:22

Gosh! That's always one. My where? Where do you start with which bits feel most interesting? And I think it's always, but that in itself is fascinating. What am I going to choose to focus on today? Right? I have always been a curious person, and I've always kind of followed opportunities as as they've presented themselves, and if they've felt right, I've gone with them. So that had me doing things like going to university in France when my French wasn't very good going from that to travelling around the world, from that landing, a job in Barcelona where I worked for telecommations companies all over Europe. Which then led me to meeting my husband and having children, and then realising that I couldn't have this sort of role of being a a career woman and being the sort of mum that I wanted to be. So I retrained as an interior designer, really bringing. and to the fore a creative side of me that had probably been buried within, because I think I feel like I grew up in a in a time where women were expected to do more academic things and go to university and have a have a career. So I probably hid my creative side. More in favour of my problem, solving and analytical side. So interior design was really good for that. But it was really hard having my own business. And I realized there were lots of things, lots of skills I didn't have. which got me into. Say trouble if you like. Not knowing how to handle myself in a diff with a difficult client. Not knowing how to charge my worth. not knowing how to to say no to people, or or keep the clear boundaries, and I didn't look after myself very well in that career, and my business partner was ill. She had breast cancer as well, and that kind of made us both take a step back and reevaluate things. And, to be honest, the the stress, financial and ratio was a little bit wrong. So we both gave that up, and and that felt good. I went back into into London to work, thinking that was going to be the right thing to do, and that was like the biggest slap in the face of Oh, my gosh! Working in a in a structure where? there wasn't that freedom to be creative, and things had to be done in a in a very set way. And I felt in conflict with I can now say, sort of I put my finger on it to say that it was. The values of the company were not aligned with my own inner values. I had. What I perceived was a very bad relationship with my manager. I believed it was all his fault. And I looked to try to because I felt like I was always doing what needed to be done to make it better. And then it was only when I stumbled across coaching and I trained to be a coach within that company that I started on this whole self development journey, and I realized that obviously I am the common denominator of everything that happens in my life. and I get to choose how I respond to people, and at the same time as doing that I was also using mindfulness as a way to to pause and give myself that space to respond differently when I was triggered. And it's that combination of those 2 coming together that has kind of brought me to where I am today. So I now know that my values weren't aligned with the values of that organization. I know that it was I chose how I responded to that manager, and it's not that that they were a bad person. It was just they were who they are, and I was. I am who I am. And I've just now I've learned so much more about myself that it has me on this mission to say, Okay, well, I know there are lots of other people out there that are struggling, and if they had that awareness of who they really are inside them, they could go out and do even more wonderful things than they already are doing, and be able to look after themselves at the same time without burning out without overstressing. And that's kind of where all my passion comes from.

Natalie P.: 14:23

Yay.

Claire Thomas: 14:25

Yeah.

Natalie P.: 14:25

That's incredible. Self awareness is just. You know I'm I'm I'm so fascinated with the concept of, you know, self awareness, and that we are born into. Very, you know, as as itty bitties. We serve our needs without hesitation. Right? We we. we communicate without even a blip of an instant what we need from those. And then slowly the blocks start setting in and and the conditioning begins. And though and and we are not. it traditionally in. In my experience I was not taught to speak up for my needs to understand that I have values which is not to say it was a bat. I had a wonderful young life, and I and I had values instilled in me. but they were not my own.

Claire Thomas: 15:40

Yeah.

Natalie P.: 15:41

They were through the lens of someone who had wonderful intentions. So to come to a place. and some have it early. Some have, you know, midlife tends to be a a place of arrival. You know that we we wind up where this concept of knowing what we really stand for, and finally getting to a point where we want to stand for it rather than.

Claire Thomas: 16:05

Yeah.

Natalie P.: 16:06

Accommodate others. Yeah, out of fear, out of doubt, out of of. I'm not good enough. I'm not worthy. It's it's just an amazing point to arrive to. It's also really fucking difficult to arrive here and be like. I want to stand for something.

Claire Thomas: 16:31

Yeah.

Natalie P.: 16:32

But I don't have any training in how to stand for something.

Claire Thomas: 16:37

Yeah.

Natalie P.: 16:38

I feel like I'm a strong woman. I feel like I I know what I want, and yet these are the things that I allow to happen. These are the things where I cut corners and let other people, you know, fill in the blank. Fill in the blank. so I just. I love this arrival that you describe and and for some people I think I'd love your perspective the when it. There's a moment of clarity where we're like holy shit. I am the common denominator in all of this.

Claire Thomas: 17:15

Yeah.

Natalie P.: 17:18

And at that moment I have a choice to step into that and own it. or to resist.

Claire Thomas: 17:35

Yeah.

Natalie P.: 17:39

And the owning it, while I feel more and more is becoming something, you know, through the work like that you're doing that I'm trying to do that. Our circle of of brilliant humans that is worldwide is trying to do is owning that embracing all of that but it's not easy. Holy crap.

Claire Thomas: 18:02

No.

Natalie P.: 18:06

When you think about your own journey, and those folks that have that played a villain right? There's almost. There's villains in our story right.

Claire Thomas: 18:19

Yeah.

Natalie P.: 18:22

do? Are you able to look back at those people now as with gratitude? Is there like in reflecting on your journey like the high points of like really hard lessons are they? Is there gratitude? There.

Claire Thomas: 18:41

Totally. There's loads of gratitude, gratitude, and I think there's also loads of empathy there as well.

Natalie P.: 18:47

Yeah.

Claire Thomas: 18:47

Is you know, inside, everybody that treats you in in a certain way is is a beautiful soul that doesn't, you know, is behaving in that that way, because that's how they've been conditioned to behave. And they're probably most of the time not aware of that. So I think anybody that anybody that you brush up with. You can thank them for showing you something about yourself when you're open and ready to be able to see that and feel it. But everybody and everything is is a learning experience. and I think that the what I've what I found more recently and and observed more recently, is, there's such a big difference between having the understanding of something on an intellectual level because you've read it. And you're like, Oh, yeah, I get that. That makes that makes sense. But until you've lived that experience, and in the center of that experience you've been able to consciously choose. The the right, the right choice, if you like. it's different. That's a whole different level of understanding and responding. That doesn't come overnight. You have to wait for life to happen and unfold. to get that level of understanding. So and I think that's what constantly blows myself blows. My mind is that as you referred to to layers, it's just like it is like that analogy of a of an onion. It's like peeling back the layers and the layers, and there's always something to learn, and always someone or something to be grateful for, for being shown an experience.

Natalie P.: 20:38

And I think what just went through my mind is the unconscious vows I think, are words that you have used. I call the the the contracts that we've created between ourselves and others. whether we know them or not, simple as conditioning that society has take. You know girls are to be are best seen, not heard. Boys don't cry like there's those simple ones, but also they're the mantras in our family. My dad would talk about you know it may not around money that money is the root of all evil.

Claire Thomas: 21:29

Yeah.

Natalie P.: 21:31

Well on the surface. like you're saying intellectually, I understand where he was coming with that. Then I start to unwrap that, and I'm like it has determined my relationship with money moving through life right.

Claire Thomas: 21:50

Yeah.

Natalie P.: 21:50

Where I can't develop a good relationship with it. So, looking back over, you know, what are? What are those unconscious bringing to light back to the full moon, illuminating those things that it's like, wow! I have made an agreement around this thing that I really need. It doesn't serve me, you know there's no place for this.

Claire Thomas: 22:13

Yeah.

Natalie P.: 22:16

one in particular for me in the recent past, like as I came into my own healing journey was. if I tell you I'm going to do something. I'm going to do it. I will not be the reason why something fails.

Claire Thomas: 22:33

Yeah.

Natalie P.: 22:36

Sounds great on the surface.

Claire Thomas: 22:38

Yeah.

Natalie P.: 22:39

Except that that meant you could be slapping me in the face with a 2 by 4, and I'm not going to back down because I said I wouldn't.

Claire Thomas: 22:54

Yeah. yeah.

Natalie P.: 22:59

To understand that and be like Natalie. If the contract that you've made, whether it's on paper or or in spirit. Isn't serving you.

Claire Thomas: 23:15

Yeah.

Natalie P.: 23:16

Then you walk away.

Claire Thomas: 23:18

Yeah.

Natalie P.: 23:19

You preserve yourself? yeah. So just a moment of gosh, I'm having like it, you know, to this day I'm like how many things that I abuse in varying degrees, that I accepted by bosses, by.

Claire Thomas: 23:46

Yeah.

Natalie P.: 23:47

Intimate relationships, by right.

Claire Thomas: 23:51

Yeah. for me that one manifests as always saying yes. never saying no. and that one was a really big slap in the face to me. It's like, I mean, you can actually say no to somebody and it and it and the world isn't going to end. It's gonna be okay. And they're still gonna like you, because you said, No, that you don't, that it doesn't serve you to say yes. that's that was like a huge huge one for me. It's like. Oh, I can really. I can say no to somebody, and I don't even have to give them a reason. I can just say no, and that's okay. Wow. I thought I had to say yes to everybody, and because I, because I could do it and other people couldn't. So, therefore I would say yes, because it was easier for me. But what happens then is that you keep doing? Say, yes, you take on more, you do more, and you burn out, and you don't ever stop, and you don't appreciate the beauty of the flower in front of you.

Natalie P.: 24:56

yeah. People pleasing. I call it self, lasting right?

Claire Thomas: 25:02

Yeah.

Natalie P.: 25:03

It's selfish to think about myself first.st

Claire Thomas: 25:06

Yeah.

Natalie P.: 25:07

It's not okay to say no, just to feel no.

Claire Thomas: 25:13

Yeah.

Natalie P.: 25:14

Period.

Claire Thomas: 25:15

Yeah.

Natalie P.: 25:17

No, thank you. You can be polite about it.

Claire Thomas: 25:20

Well, exactly. Yeah, yeah.

Natalie P.: 25:22

And be just fine.

Claire Thomas: 25:24

Yeah, exactly.

Natalie P.: 25:25

Goes on without your yes, absolutely. I know this about you. In our previous conversations. When we 1st met you were heading to a summer vacation with your family to to check out, to turn off, to recuperate. And I'm just thinking about you talk about on your website. And and we talked about it. Then around this concept of non striving.

Claire Thomas: 26:02

Yeah.

Natalie P.: 26:03

And being.

Claire Thomas: 26:05

Yeah.

Natalie P.: 26:06

Which I relate to in my own life, as you know the as bee do have when we, when we, when we. when we decide who we want to be, what we need to do. Our next right steps for ourselves come naturally, and that they have the rewards then present themselves as a natural extension, right.

Claire Thomas: 26:30

Yeah.

Natalie P.: 26:30

Talk to me about what non striving means, and that relationship of bee do have, and how that lands with you.

Claire Thomas: 26:41

Yeah, and that I mean that totally resonates in the in the context of going on holiday. I feel that this year was the 1st time I've been fully present on holiday for a very long time. That feels actually really awful to say, isn't it? You know, but just that whole. okay, I'm not. Gonna look at my email. I'm not going to be on social media. I'm not taking my laptop, not I always take my laptop on on holiday. But we've had years where like. Last year we went away for 4 weeks, and 2 of those weeks I worked while we were away, so that was kind of hard not to have my laptop there. But but this year I was. I was fully fully fully present for the holiday. And, oh, my God! It was like it was magical, absolutely magical, and just. We were in Croatia, and the water there is so crystal clear and beautiful. and there was nobody else in the water, and you could just see, like I don't know how many meters deep it was, but it was just the detail you could see, and just sort of like leaning off a a paddle board, and just sort of having your head sort of dangling over and just watching little fish swim by and not really caring, magical, absolutely magical. So I really feel that I came back from that really really rested. and having made some really happy memories with with my family as well, the girls are getting to an age now where I don't know how many more summer holidays they'll want to come on us with. So you know, it's they're really important times. And I believe that be that ability to be on holiday again that probably contributes a little bit to where I feel like I am now. Is that that reassessing everything that is happening. That sort of it's okay to stop and and look at everything and say, Okay, well. what if this is how I want to feel and what? How I want to be in my life. as you said, what! What do I do? That is aligned with that and stop doing all those things mindlessly and on autopilot that you don't need to do, because they don't serve anything.

Natalie P.: 29:20

Absolutely. And 2 things a few minutes ago, talking about conditioning. Your daughters are watching what it means to be. and having it modeled for them.

Claire Thomas: 29:39

Yeah.

Natalie P.: 29:39

Early. which is beautiful. And then the second thing is that as a coach. as someone who engages others. if we we have to take our own medicine and when we, when we talk about in in our circles, I can. I can. I'm the only one that can heal me. I'm the only one that has the ability to change the way I do things. When I engage others. I anticipate that I'm going to engage someone who has done the same work. not the same work, but work on themselves to the point where they can genuinely say. look! I had to hit pause. Here's where I led up to this, you know, even this, this zoom conversation with somebody on the other side of the plane. I had to take a week off.

Claire Thomas: 30:43

Yeah.

Natalie P.: 30:45

I'd love to segue into some of your magic, all of your magic because I think that's really key to what you bring. And is this mental fitness which I adore? I love that term is is truly, if I can make an a a parallel to like true, like physical fitness. listening to your body. practicing daily what works for one person's mental physique? That's not the right combination. But I think you know what I'm talking about is not going to work for the next person necessarily. I'll even go so far as to say, You know, be smart like, use your legs. Don't bend over and pick up something heavy and blow your back out because you think you're right. and then that it's whole person right? That it's mind, body, gut spirit. the entire entire package. I'd love to just think out loud with you about how you practice mental fitness and how you offer that to others that you work with.

Claire Thomas: 32:16

Yeah. So the mental fitness part the the core of what I offer is a program that is a Us founded called Positive intelligence, and that works off understanding how we how we self sabotage everybody does it. Everybody has the a judge, a judge of themself, others, and the circumstances that they're in and their behaviors that we learn when we're in our formative years, and when we're in a situation of of stress, the fight or flight reflex comes in, and we we then rely on our natural born strengths to keep us safe in those situations. and an a stressful situation could be anything from I've broken my favorite toy to I've suffered a death of a close parent. I mean the spectrum. But the thing is is that we're we're all subject to learning these behaviors, which, as over time, become unconscious and automatic. So that whole 1st phase goes back to what we were talking about earlier, about having awareness. And what I love about the positive intelligence program is it gives this really easy to understand framework so that you can become aware of your behaviors, but alongside that you need to be able to be present, I mean, and to to stop and pause, as you were saying, so you can. You can recognize those behaviors and say, Okay, but I don't need to listen to them. They they were there to keep me safe. But they don't serve me anymore. And to build up that ability to be present in the moment and and to respond to the challenges that life throws at us, however big or small they are. We need to build up this mental fitness on a on a daily basis in the same way that you go to the gym, and you're keeping your muscles strong. and you need to be working on your your mental fitness, so that when the the big waves come you don't fall off your off your surfboard. So my daily practice is starts with meditation every day and some days that's quite structured, and it's the one that I listen to a guided one meditation. It will vary from 10 min to half an hour and other times. It's it's me sitting there in the silence and just observing my thoughts, what is the clarity that is in my head, or and being with that? But it happens every single day without fail. and I actually get, I say, without fail. There was last week I had to get get up really early for something, and I couldn't justify getting up at 4 30 to do my meditation.

Natalie P.: 35:08

Yeah.

Claire Thomas: 35:08

So I did it a tiny bit later. But it does. The day doesn't feel right for me when I haven't given myself that space to just be. And I've noticed that it makes it makes a huge, huge difference in how I how I respond to everything that goes on around me. If If One of the girls says something that that winds me up, I'm so much more likely to take a breath and ignore it and choose to have no response to it, because I know that what their reaction is, a response to what's going on in in them, and it's got nothing to do with me. Necessarily, I'm just there in the firing line. but it it takes that constant practice to to have that strong mental fitness, and then the positive side of that is, when you can ignore all of these self sabotaging behaviors and be fully present. Then you see compassion and kindness and empathy and love and you can take clear headed action, and all of that you'll be. Do have all of the have just unfolds, because that's how it's supposed to be. And then I guess the last thing that you mentioned there is about you know you said mind, body, soul, spiritual level those things is that I I don't, although I'm not I'm not a sleep therapist. I'm not a nutritionist. I'm not a a a personal trainer. and I'm not an expert on my gut. But I want to be looking after all of those things. So I'm constantly absorbing information on okay. So how can I have a life that is full of quality for as long as possible, and if that means that I need to, maybe hardly any sugar, I'll cut out the white carbs or go to bed at 9 9 pm. Because I know I'm going to get up early. Then I will do all of those things because it's looking after after me. My soul. my energy, field, everything.

Natalie P.: 37:26

Yeah. I have a limited amount of experience with Pq, positive intelligence. Yeah. And and Dr. Shirzad.

Claire Thomas: 37:37

Yeah.

Natalie P.: 37:37

What a what a just a wonderful human being! And this I call it my itty, bitty, shitty committee that I ride around with right.

Claire Thomas: 37:49

I love it. Yeah.

Natalie P.: 37:51

And and this this group of it. It is depending on the day. It's this group of voices. And I've I've named a lot of them. one of them is fucker yeah. Just cause it rolls off the tongue right.

Claire Thomas: 38:07

Yeah, like.

Natalie P.: 38:07

In and actually having you know, rolling back to previous parts of this conversation, the awareness to say, That's not my voice. That's the judge. Yeah, that's not my sage mind, that's fill in the blank. I can't come up with all of the names here, but I'm curious. What are which voice of the of your own itty, bitty, shitty committee, do you? Do you fight with.

Claire Thomas: 38:37

My prominent 2 are restless. Hyperachiever.

Natalie P.: 38:42

Really.

Claire Thomas: 38:43

Yeah. and the and then and then it, and then stickler stickler has been the easiest to let go of so that one I don't see so often anymore. The Hyperachiever is probably the one that is is most prominent still, and I think that's ingrained. Again, going back to what we said earlier about that those societal pressures of the expectations of what women can accomplish. And how they can. They can do everything and be everything. That one I find really hard to to control at times the restless. I've had more success with. But I can get the Hyperachiever gets me caught up with the restless. So when I can, like last week, recognize that I'm that it's okay to stop and to slow down and take a step back and to trust, and I've got enough evidence to support it that when I do that and I come back I'm on fire. I can, I can, you know, hit it out the park with such in in way less time and that, and then have the time to to the for the self care. Yeah. And that's what if if everybody could do that and trust that by slowing down they can speed up. and by getting more done efficiently without all that distraction from mobile phones and other people's opinion and social media, and all those things that you could get so much more done. and then have time before your own for the things that really light you up. and your own growth and spiritual development, etc.

Natalie P.: 40:28

That's true. you your kind of your tagline is mental fitness, coaching for people, pleasing women who know they are capable of so much more.

Claire Thomas: 40:42

Yeah.

Natalie P.: 40:43

Do you feel like the women that come to? You know what they want when they contact you, are they? They they don't know where to start all of the above like, what's your client? Talk to me about the person that you work with.

Claire Thomas: 41:05

Most of them will come when they're in pain. sort of pain on an emotional level, or something's going wrong in their lives, and they need some help. I I don't think that they most the time see that it's anything that they're they're doing wrong, or it's how they're showing up that they've caused. the the issue, the the things they're dealing with today are a direct result of choices they've made in the past. So there's I think, that there's always that. particularly in the Uk. Women have a belief that they have to please take. If they have children, and they have a partner that they are running the house. They have to do everything for the children, and they have to please, and there isn't time to to justify stepping back. So the biggest challenge with these with these women is even getting them into the room, which is why they come when when they've got the pain because they are only used. If they've got funds available, they will spend it on their children.

Natalie P.: 42:23

Hmm.

Claire Thomas: 42:25

If they've got time available it will be for their children. but recognising that they need to put the oxygen mask on themselves first, st is is challenging.

Natalie P.: 42:36

Many.

Claire Thomas: 42:37

Women aren't there yet.

Natalie P.: 42:40

Yeah. It just crossed my mind that one of the hesitations that are to speak to being a woman. that I know I have so much to unpack that I don't have time to get started now. and I'll get there, maybe, and and if this happens, fill in the blank, then I'll take care of myself. That never happens. There's always something to fill in that blank.

Claire Thomas: 43:17

Yeah.

Natalie P.: 43:18

But that there is something very beautiful about even just a consultation call.

Claire Thomas: 43:26

Yeah. yeah.

Natalie P.: 43:29

That this you don't have to bite this all off at once. You don't have to enroll yourself in a 3 month. Deep dive, transformational journey set off to Peru with, you know, like turning off all contact with the world and have a breakdown right.

Claire Thomas: 43:45

No.

Natalie P.: 43:47

That sometimes it's just as simple as I know so many of our counterparts and yourself included like that we we offer these just call me.

Claire Thomas: 44:03

Yeah.

Natalie P.: 44:04

Let's just get our arms around one little bit of this so that you can have a little bit of relief. A little bit of ownership.

Claire Thomas: 44:15

Yeah.

Natalie P.: 44:16

Right.

Claire Thomas: 44:19

But I think there's also a challenge. I mean, if I think about my my own personality type. you know, I can have on all of my social media. My website, call me? Yeah. I'm always there for a chat. The courage it takes to press a button, click, a link book a call. Is pretty debilitating. Because, you know, you you need to know, like and trust somebody before before you're going to do that and I suppose it's only since I've been in the self development space, and I've been on my own journey that if somebody is offering something for free. And it's like, Well, what if I got to lose? I have the agency to say no, I don't have to buy something from that person. But if I think they've got something interesting to say, and and it's going to benefit me, then they're offering it. Why would I say? No, that would be. That would be absolutely silly. But it's taking me a long time to get for that to be an okay thing for me.

Natalie P.: 45:29

Yeah. yeah, trust is is massive.

Claire Thomas: 45:33

Yeah.

Natalie P.: 45:34

Well, and and that the I mean, I think a lot can be said about as you grow self awareness. And as you grow that ability to recognize what's right for you as you, as you take hold of your about your own values. And and really you can see it in others. I can see it sitting here with you. you know the just in a connection call and networking. Yes, let's get on and and shoot the shit right that you.

Claire Thomas: 46:17

Yeah.

Natalie P.: 46:19

You learn. And I think it's something that we're developing as a as a world society, that our intuition about that people are good.

Claire Thomas: 46:29

Yeah.

Natalie P.: 46:29

And that it's okay. If if Claire and I connect for 30 min and it doesn't work, I still get something out of it, and I don't have to be sold to, and I don't have to take it any further. But, hey, I might. How about? Instead of looking at all the things that could go wrong with it. I think this is a beautiful conversation I could have that could change my my life if just a smidge.

Claire Thomas: 46:54

Exactly. Yeah, yeah. yeah.

Natalie P.: 46:59

Your website is reaching my best.com.

Claire Thomas: 47:02

Yeah.

Natalie P.: 47:05

That is the handle on Instagram as well as Do you have Facebook.

Claire Thomas: 47:12

Yeah, I think it's pretty much. I think it's exactly the same on Facebook.

Natalie P.: 47:15

Reaching my best.

Claire Thomas: 47:16

On Facebook and on Linkedin.

Natalie P.: 47:19

Okay? And do you have anything special that you're working on right now? Do you have any special offerings or or anything that you you want to leave us with in terms of something to really think about. Somebody's listening, and could pick.

Claire Thomas: 47:37

I mean, my most special thing is my coaching cards, but they're not available as such in in the in the Us. So and it's a box of 52 cards.

Natalie P.: 47:51

Love it.

Claire Thomas: 47:51

Them to you last time or not. But there's you do a card a week. They've got really beautiful pictures on.

Natalie P.: 47:58

Wow!

Claire Thomas: 48:00

there's a small educational bit. They're all lessons I've learned on my journey and over life and things that I found useful. And then there's coaching questions or exercises. There's QR code. So you can download worksheets and work on them, and meditations and that sort of thing. And for the I. The idea behind it was was from a place of being a bit literally of being quiet. This idea popped into my head. Of How can I get the attention of women that say they don't have the time and the money. To to start to rediscover themselves. And so this is a way of one card. A week doesn't require massive time investment. It doesn't cost that much to buy the cards, but if you were to do each card for for a year, you would have learned so much about yourself at the end of it.

Natalie P.: 48:52

Of.

Claire Thomas: 48:53

And they're just beautiful to look at. So they're available on my website, and through Amazon, etc. as well. And actually, I was just talking to somebody just earlier, also in in the Us. So you know, maybe there's an opportunity at some point for to have them more easily available in the Us. But, yeah, the world. The world will enjoy receiving them when they're ready. But I think it's just getting that word out there is is my current challenge.

Natalie P.: 49:24

Yeah. we're chipping away, sister.

Claire Thomas: 49:27

Exactly. Yeah, slowly but surely, when the time is right? Yeah.

Natalie P.: 49:33

I love. You know you've shared, as I said in the opening, that your goal is to inspire as many women around the world as possible to unlock their true potential. Yeah, that's right. It's a massive undertaking that we chip away at. And I'm I'm right there with you. This is, this is part of it is.

Claire Thomas: 49:59

Yeah.

Natalie P.: 50:00

Continuing to to be together, and to think out loud and join in communities and have brave conversations. And You've inspired me. Thank you for. Thank you for being with me and being you on the other side of the world. And I'm I'm incredibly grateful that Sabrina connected us and and consider you a part of my my circle.

Claire Thomas: 50:32

Thank you. It's it's an honor. And I've loved every interaction with you. It's always felt so natural. And that's what's so. Everything happens for a reason. and I think that's the the important thing to focus on. Everything, good or bad, happens for a reason.

Natalie P.: 50:48

Absolutely absolutely agree. Well, thank you folks for thinking out loud with me. And today's guest, Claire Thomas. She's reaching my best and can be found online. I'll put all of her connection points in the show notes, and encourage you to be in touch with her. If if you feel the vibe like I do. Given how many choices we all have to spend our time. I'm honored that you've been listening in until we visit again. Go live with love and beautiful intention. And please, please don't let anyone fuck with your flow big hugs, big love. Goodbye, friends.